The Name Engine

A very clever idea for a website, check it out here.

The Name Engine^® is a resource dedicated to providing the correct name pronunciations of athletes, entertainers, politicians, newsmakers, and more. Until now, no standard has existed to confirm this information. But the need for such a standard is undeniable. Even well-known names are often pronounced in different ways, leaving you to wonder what the correct pronunciation is. Now you have an easy way to determine it.

All names are painstakingly researched for authenticity. Personal confirmation is the ultimate goal. At a minimum, they are confirmed by individuals with firsthand knowledge of the name in question. These individuals include team play-by-play announcers, public relations representatives, sports information directors, agents, etc.

h/t Curt

Squish our Fruits Together

Some more improv everywhere

Weird yet compelling

Cult of Personality

And the other side of the coin

Drag Racing

Crushing Your Head

Classic Kids in the Hall

Background after the break

Pfft You was Gone

Some Classic Hee Haw.

Stick to the end, it’s worth it.

More after the break

More Motivation

Some may be NSFW

In the Can

Weekend Motivations

Some may be NSFW

Interesting Tattoos

Some NSFW

This is Me

Word Play

The Washington Post has a  yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

The winners are:

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Mmm Bacon

The Scotsman’s Wife

An Englishman’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball on the tee, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.

“Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any panties?” her husband demanded.

“Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.” The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, “For the sake of decency, here’s $20. Go and buy yourself some underwear.”

Next, the Irishman’s wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she too is wearing no undies.

“Blessed Virgin Mary, woman, your privacy is uncovered! Where are your undies?” She replies, “I can’t afford any on the money you give me.” He reaches into his pocket and says, “For the sake of decency, here’s $10. Go buy yourself some underwear!”

Lastly, the Scotsman’s wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it.

“Sweet mother of Jesus, Aggie! Where are yer drawers?”

She too explains, “You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta afford any!”

The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and Says, “Well, fer the love ‘O Jesus woman, here’s a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit.”