Apropos of Nothing

November 3, 2007

Punny Stuff

Filed under: Fun Stuff,Humour — aproposofnothing @ 9:38 pm

• I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

• Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

• The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

• The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

• To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

• When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

•The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

• A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months

• Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

• In a democracy it’s your vote that counts; in feudalism, it’s your Count that votes.

• A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

• If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

• With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

• Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I’ll show you A-flat miner.

• A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blown apart.

• Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.

• A boiled egg is hard to beat.

• If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.

h/t Theo Spark

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