Apropos of Nothing

May 8, 2008

Falling in Love, Before and After

Filed under: Humour — aproposofnothing @ 9:54 pm

A few examples of Before & After you fall in love:

B: You take my breath away
A: I feel like I’m suffocating

B: She says she loves the way I take control of a situation
A: She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

B: Lucy and Ricky
A: Fred and Ethyl

B: Saturday Night Fever
A: Monday Night Football

B: He makes me feel like a million dollars…
A: If I had a dime for every stupid thing he’s done…

B: The sound of music
A: The sounds of silence

B: Is that all you’re having?
A: Maybe you should have just a salad, honey.

B: Wheel of Fortune
A: Jeopardy

B: It’s like I’m living in a dream…
A: It’s like he lives in a dorm…

B: $60/dozen
A: $1.50/stem

B: Turbo charged
A: Jump start

B: We agree on everything.
A: Doesn’t she have a mind of her own?

B: Victoria’s Secret
A: Fruit of the Loom

B: Charming and noble
A: Chernobyl

B: I love a woman with curves.
A: I never said you were fat.

B: He’s completely lost without me.
A: Why won’t he ever ask for directions?

B: Time stood still.
A: This relationship is going nowhere.

B: Croissant and cappuccino
A: Bagel and instant

B: Blind
A: Nearsighted

B: You look so seductive in black.
A: Your clothes are so depressing.

B: Iambic pentameter
A: Blank verse

B: Oysters
A: Fish sticks

B: I can hardly believe we found each other.
A: I can’t believe I ended up with someone like you.

B: Passion
A: Ration

B: Once upon a time
A: The end

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