Apropos of Nothing

April 13, 2010

Humorous Observations

Filed under: Humour — aproposofnothing @ 11:20 am
  1. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  2. 668 – The neighbour of the beast.
  3. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  4. A cat, by any other name, is still a sneaky little furball that barfs on the furniture.
  5. A cheap shot is a terrible thing to waste.
  6. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
  7. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  8. A day without sunshine is like night.
  9. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you’re in deep water.
  10. A hard thing about a business is minding your own.
  11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
  12. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’
  13. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  14. Be careful reading the fine print. There’s no way you’re going to like it.
  15. Beauty is only skin deep…but ugly goes all the way to the bone!
  16. Being in a nudist colony probably takes all the fun out of Halloween.
  17. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
  18. Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than expected. Carefully planned projects take four times longer to complete than expected, mostly because the planners expect their planning to reduce the time it takes.
  19. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
  20. Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.
  21. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  22. Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.
  23. Do you realize that in about 20 years, we’ll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos? (And rap music will be the Golden Oldies!)
  24. Does time fly when you’re having sex or was it really just one minute?
  25. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines.

1 Comment »

  1. When would be a great sermon material pops

    Comment by sikiş — April 27, 2010 @ 2:31 am | Reply

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