May 5, 2010
Humorous Observations part 4
- If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
- If you’re going to ride my ass at least pull my hair and make me scream!
- In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
- Indecision is the key to flexibility.
- Inside every older person is a younger person wondering ‘What the heck happened?’
- It ain’t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
- It’s bad luck to be superstitious.
- It’s not the bullet that kills you, it’s the hole.
- I’ve reached the age where the happy hour is a nap.
- Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
- My wife ran off with my best friend last week. I miss him!
- Needing a man is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the first time you need him, chances are you won’t be needing him again.
- Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor’s office is full of portraits by Picasso.
- No one ever says “It’s only a game.” when their team is winning.
- No one has more driving ambition than the boy who wants to buy a car.
- Not afraid of heights – afraid of widths.
- OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
- Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
- Practice safe eating-always use condiments.
- Remember, half the people you know are below average.
- Scratch a cat and you will have a permanent job.
- Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
- Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
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