December 30, 2007
1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of s**t.
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, “Hey, Dave! How ya doin’?”
His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before.
“Oh, no,” says Dave. “He’s on my bowling team.”
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, “How did she know that you drink Budweiser?”
“She’s in the ladies’ bowling league, honey,” he says. “We share lanes with them.”
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says, “Hi, Davey! Want your usual table dance, big boy?”
Dave’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book. The cabbie turns his head and says, “Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave.”
Frank Caliendo’s impersonations are great, I try to catch him whenever I can. YouTube has a bunch here.
December 24, 2007
GI Saves Iraqi Boy in Unlikely Adoption
MAUSTON, Wis. (AP) – Capt. Scott Southworth knew he’d face violence, political strife and blistering heat when he was deployed to one of Baghdad’s most dangerous areas. But he didn’t expect Ala’a Eddeen.
Ala’a was 9 years old, strong of will but weak of body-he suffered from cerebral palsy and weighed just 55 pounds. He lived among about 20 kids with physical or mental disabilities at the Mother Teresa orphanage, under the care of nuns who preserved this small oasis in a dangerous place.
On Sept. 6, 2003, halfway through his 13-month deployment, Southworth and his military police unit paid a visit to the orphanage. They played and chatted with the children; Southworth was talking with one little girl when Ala’a dragged his body to the soldier’s side.
Black haired and brown eyed, Ala’a spoke to the 31-year-old American in the limited English he had learned from the sisters. He recalled the bombs that struck government buildings across the Tigris River.
“Bomb-Bing! Bomb-Bing!” Ala’a said, raising and lowering his fist.
“I’m here now. You’re fine,” the captain said.
Over the next 10 months, the unit returned to the orphanage again and again. The soldiers would race kids in their wheelchairs, sit them in Humvees and help the sisters feed them.
To Southworth, Ala’a was like a little brother. But Ala’a-who had longed for a soldier to rescue him-secretly began referring to Southworth as “Baba,” Arabic for “Daddy.”
Then, around Christmas, a sister told Southworth that Ala’a was getting too big. He would have to move to a government-run facility within a year.
“Best case scenario was that he would stare at a blank wall for the rest of his life,” Southworth said.
To this day, he recalls the moment when he resolved that that would not happen.
“I’ll adopt him,” he said.
Read the rest here.
h/t Ace of Spades
Everyone always seems to talk about Bing Crosby when it comes to Christmas music, but I must say, that I prefer Dean Martin.
This is definitely better than the music that Jawa has posted recently, although the image is pretty good.
Theo Spark‘s post about Chris de Burgh got me thinking about some of my favorite artists while growing up. Warren Zevon was one artist I thought made some great music. The only song of his that everyone seems to know is “Werewolves of London“. He was always sensitive about it as whenever he was on TV, that was the only song anyone wanted to hear. “Lawyers, Guns and Money” is one of my favorites and here it is.
Here are some more great songs by Warren Zevon.
Ye Li answers the question: “What are the words to Billy Joel’s ‘We Didn’t Start The Fire'” with an awesome compilation.
Theo Spark had a couple of posts about Chris de Burgh, a British artist very popular in Canada (I grew up 20 miles south of Canada, so 2/3 of the radio stations were Canadian), and with a couple of hits in the US (“Lady in Red” and “Don’t Pay the Ferryman”). Theo highlights a couple of his songs which I like better than the 2 I mentioned. Go to his site to check them out.
My favorite song of his is “Spanish Train”. Here is the video.
Other Chris de Burgh songs: