Apropos of Nothing

January 31, 2008

Touring France…

Filed under: Fun Stuff,Humour — aproposofnothing @ 11:38 pm

A group of Americans, retired teachers, recently went to France on a tour.  Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane.  At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on. ’You have been to France before, monsieur?’ the customs officer asked sarcastically.

Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.

‘Then you should know enough to have your passport ready.’

The American said, ‘The last time I was here, I didn’t have to show it.’

‘Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!’

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. ‘Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in ‘44 to help liberate this country,  I couldn’t find any Frenchmen to show it to.’

via

Hell Freezes Over

Filed under: Politics — aproposofnothing @ 11:29 pm

Ann Coulter wiould vote for Hillary over McCain

I agree with her.

h/t

Kids in the Hall

Filed under: Entertainment,Humour — aproposofnothing @ 11:15 pm

I was over at Laurie Kendrick’s reading about SCTV and it got me reminiscing about Kids in the Hall.

They were a Canadian sketch comedy group formed in 1984, consisting of comedians Dave Foley, Kevin McDonald, Bruce McCulloch, Mark McKinney, and Scott Thompson. Their television show ran from 1988 to 1994 on CBC, CBS, and HBO. The theme song for the show was the instrumental “Having an Average Weekend” by the Canadian band Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet. The troupe made one movie, Brain Candy, which was released in 1996.

The name of the group came from Sid Caesar, who, if a joke didn’t go over, or played worse than expected, would attribute it to “the kids in the hall,” referring to a group of young writers hanging around the studio.

They had some great skits, here are a few of my favorites.

Crushing your head:

Vodpod videos no longer available.

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Girl’s Night Out..

Filed under: Fun Stuff,Humour — aproposofnothing @ 9:15 pm

Two women friends had gone for a girl’s night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives. However, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk, and walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery.

One of them had nothing to wipe with, so she thought she would take off her panties and use them.

Her friend however was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them. She was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.

After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home.

The next day one of the women’s husbands was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed — hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, “These girl nights have got to stop! I’m starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties!!”

That’s nothing” said the other husband, “Mine came back with a card stuck to her butt that said…..

“From all of us at the Fire Station. We’ll never forget you

thank you Lady Jane

Find Chuck Norris

Filed under: Fun Stuff — aproposofnothing @ 7:46 pm

Try This!

Go to Google.com

Type in “find chuck norris”.

Click the “I’m feeling lucky” button

See what pops up.

find more here

via

January 30, 2008

John McCain & Miss Teen SC on Economics

Filed under: Humour,Politics — aproposofnothing @ 11:56 pm

heh

Mahna Mahna – Poltical Edition

Filed under: Fun Stuff,Humour,Politics — aproposofnothing @ 11:24 pm

heh

If you’re a yute and don’t get it, here’s the original Muppets edition.

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Coulter shreds McCain

Filed under: Politics — aproposofnothing @ 10:44 pm

I generally try to stay away from politics on the blog (except for humour), but I have a bad case of electile dysfunction.  The more I look at McCain, the less I want to see him as a presidential candidate. I was sorry to see Fred and Rudy drop out. Hillary is just too shrill and flip flops as much as McCain and Kerry. Obama seems sincere, but he seems a bit too naive. None of the candidates resonate with me, I would have liked to see Lieberman run. He’s the type of politician I like, state your position and stick with it, if you need to change a view, have a cogent reason for switching and explain it intelligently. Too many politicians suffer from some form of long term memory deficiency, they only remember what they’ve said recently. I may not agree with everything Bush has done, but I have to respect the fact that he had the balls to stick to his vision, whatever it happened to be.

In this piece, Ann Coulter tears McCain apart. She’s always at her best in her writing, if she refrained from public speaking, people would take her more seriously.

h/t Ace

“Straight Talk” Takes Scenic Route to the Truth
John McCain is Bob Dole minus the charm, conservatism and youth. Like McCain, pollsters assured us that Dole was the most “electable” Republican. Unlike McCain, Dole didn’t lie all the time while claiming to engage in Straight Talk.

Of course, I might lie constantly too, if I were seeking the Republican presidential nomination after enthusiastically promoting amnesty for illegal aliens, Social Security credit for illegal aliens, criminal trials for terrorists, stem-cell research on human embryos, crackpot global warming legislation and free speech-crushing campaign-finance laws.

I might lie too, if I had opposed the Bush tax cuts, a marriage amendment to the Constitution, waterboarding terrorists and drilling in Alaska.

And I might lie if I had called the ads of the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth “dishonest and dishonorable.”

McCain angrily denounces the suggestion that his “comprehensive immigration reform” constituted “amnesty” — on the ludicrous grounds that it included a small fine. Even the guy who graduated fifth from the bottom of his class at the U.S. Naval Academy didn’t fall for this a few years ago.

In 2003, McCain told The Tucson Citizen that “amnesty has to be an important part” of any immigration reform. He also rolled out the old chestnut about America’s need for illegals, who do “jobs that American workers simply won’t do.”

McCain’s amnesty bill would have immediately granted millions of newly legalized immigrants Social Security benefits. He even supported allowing work performed as an illegal to count toward Social Security benefits as recently as a vote in 2006 — now adamantly denied by Mr. Straight Talk.

McCain keeps boasting that he was “the only one” of the Republican presidential candidates who supported the surge in Iraq.

What is he talking about? All Republicans supported the surge — including Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani. The only ones who didn’t support it were McCain pals like Sen. Chuck Hagel. Indeed, the surge is the first part of the war on terrorism that caused McCain to break from Hagel in order to support the president.

True, McCain voted for the war. So did Hillary Clinton. Like her, he then immediately started attacking every other aspect of the war on terrorism. (The only difference was, he threw in frequent references to his experience as a POW, which currently outnumber John Kerry’s references to being a Vietnam vet.)

Thus, McCain joined with the Democrats in demanding O.J. trials for terrorists at Guantanamo, including his demand that the terrorists have full access to the intelligence files being used to prosecute them.

Though McCain was far from the only Republican to support the surge, he does have the distinction of being the only Republican who voted against the Bush tax cuts. (Also the little lamented Sen. Lincoln Chafee, who later left the Republican Party.) Now McCain claims he opposed the tax cuts because they didn’t include enough spending cuts. But that wasn’t what he said at the time.

To the contrary, in 2001, McCain said he was voting against Bush’s tax cuts based on the idiotic talking point of the Democrats. “I cannot in good conscience,” McCain said, “support a tax cut in which so many of the benefits go to the most fortunate among us at the expense of middle-class Americans who need tax relief.”

Though McCain generally votes pro-life — as his Arizona constituency requires — he embraces the loony lingo of the pro-abortion set, repeatedly assuring his pals in the media that he opposes the repeal of Roe v. Wade because it would force women to undergo “illegal and dangerous operations.”

Come to think of it, Dole is a million times better than McCain. Why not run him again?

Redneck Fashion Tips

Filed under: Humour — aproposofnothing @ 10:05 pm

Jeff Foxworthy always cracks me up.

The Italian Firemen

Filed under: Fun Stuff,Humour — aproposofnothing @ 2:10 pm

One dark night in the small town of Garfield , New Jersey, a fire started inside the local sausage factory. In a blink the building was engulfed in flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.

When the first volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the sausage company president rushed to the fire chief and said, “All of our secret sausage recipes are in the vault in the center of the plant.

They must be saved. I will donate $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out and delivers them to me.”
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January 29, 2008

You Suck at Photoshop by Donnie Hoyle

Filed under: Entertainment,Fun Stuff,Humour — aproposofnothing @ 9:44 pm

Scott over at Laughing Squid has a nice roundup of Donnie Hoyle’s hilarious series of “You Suck at Photoshop” tutorials:

Here is the first

Check out the rest here.

January 27, 2008

"Real Hollywood Heroes" …the ones you may not have heard about.

Filed under: Newsworthy — aproposofnothing @ 10:48 pm

Alec Guinness operated a British Royal Navy landing craft on D-Day.
1

Donald Pleasance really was an R. A. F. pilot who was shot down, held prisoner and tortured by the Germans.
2

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Imagine

Filed under: Newsworthy,Philosophy,Politics — aproposofnothing @ 9:44 pm

I was watching some news channel and the had Sylvestor Stallone on talking about his new movie Rambo 3. He was talking about something (don’t remember what) and then he made a comment about imagining the world without America. This really resonated with me, especially because it was Sly who said it and you wouldn’t expect such a comment from him.

Think about it.

World.

Without.

America.

Imagine.

Makes you think, doesn’t it?

(for example, a global Third Reich, read some Harry Turtledove)

Stupid game show moments

Filed under: Entertainment,Humour — aproposofnothing @ 9:14 pm

via

Unusual Tattoos III – NSFW

Filed under: NSFW,Tattoo — aproposofnothing @ 9:10 pm

MoreTattoos

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