Apropos of Nothing

August 14, 2010

Our Treasury Department in Action

Filed under: Humour,Politics — aproposofnothing @ 12:51 am

A Winking Problem

Filed under: Humour — aproposofnothing @ 12:45 am

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal. You’ve graduated from the best schools; your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled.

"Normally, we’d hire you without a second thought. However, a sales representative has a highly visible position, and we’re afraid that your constant winking will scare off potential customers. I’m sorry….we can’t hire you."

"But wait," he said. "If I take two aspirin, I’ll stop winking!"

"Really? Great! Show me!"

So the applicant reaches into his jacket pocket and begins pulling out all sorts of condoms: red condoms, blue condoms, ribbed condoms, flavored condoms; finally, at the bottom, he finds a packet of aspirin. He tears it open, swallows the pills, and stops winking.

"Well," said the interviewer, "that’s all well and good, but this is a respectable company, and we will not have our employees womanizing all over the country!"

"Womanizing? What do you mean? I’m a happily married man!"

"Well then, how do you explain all these condoms?"

"Oh, that," he sighed. "Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?"

Support Bacteria!

Filed under: Humour — aproposofnothing @ 12:42 am

August 13, 2010

New Generator

Filed under: Fun Stuff,Worth It — aproposofnothing @ 11:17 pm

Here’s a picture of the new generator I just got for myself.


Let Me Rest in Peace

Filed under: Entertainment,Music,Sci Fi — aproposofnothing @ 10:58 pm

This is what a real vampire is like.  From the Buffy the Vampire Slayer musical episode.

Buffy vs Edward (Twilight Remixed)

Filed under: Newsworthy — aproposofnothing @ 10:40 pm

An excellent job by Rebellious Pixels

View more info at http://blip.tv/file/2261825/

There I fixed it

Filed under: Fun Stuff,Newsworthy — aproposofnothing @ 10:29 pm

New site I found.  http://thereifixedit.com/

A sample.

AC (A Crutch)

Paradise City

Filed under: Newsworthy — aproposofnothing @ 10:22 pm

Who knew?

Dead Parrot Sketch

Filed under: Humour — aproposofnothing @ 10:18 pm

Some classic Monty Python


Best of Statler and Waldorf

Filed under: Humour — aproposofnothing @ 10:09 pm

Quick Bits of Humour

Filed under: Humour — aproposofnothing @ 10:02 pm

1. Two blondes walked into a building……….you’d think at least one of them would have seen it. 

2. Phone answering machine message – ‘…If you want marijuana, press the hash key…’

3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The shrink says, ‘Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.’

4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn’t find any.

5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he couldn’t reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, ‘No, the steaks are too high..’ 

6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.

7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, ‘Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!’
The doctor replied, ‘I know you can’t, I’ve cut your arms off’.

8. I went to a seafood disco last week…and pulled a muscle.

9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too. 

10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands.
Police say that he topped himself.

11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head. Doc says ‘I’ll give you some cream to put on it.’ 

12. ‘Doc I can’t stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home’. 
‘That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.’
‘Is it common? ‘
‘It’s not unusual.’

13. A man takes his Rotteweiller to the vet. ‘My dog’s cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?’ 
‘Well,’ says the vet, ‘let’s have a look at him’ So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, ‘I’m going to have to put him down.’
‘What? Because he’s cross-eyed? ‘ 
‘No, because he’s really heavy’

14. Guy goes into the doctor’s. ‘Doc, I’ve got a cricket ball stuck up my backside.’
‘How’s that?’
‘Don’t you start.’

15. Two elephants walk off a cliff…boom, boom!

16. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A fsh.

17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me ‘Can you give me a lift?’ 
I said ‘Sure, you look great, the world’s your oyster, go for it.’ 

18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my Mum or my Dad, or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it’s Colin. 

19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other ‘Your round.’ The other one says ‘So are you, you fat bast**d!’

20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, and the other was eating fireworks. 
They charged one and let the other one off.

21. ‘You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.’ 

22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, ‘I’ve hurt my arm in several places’
The doctor said, ‘Well don’t go there anymore’


CFL Football Player Leaps Over Defender

Filed under: Sports — aproposofnothing @ 9:52 pm

Fun and Sexy Tattoos

Filed under: Fun Stuff,Tattoo — aproposofnothing @ 9:40 pm

Some are NSFW

tattoo (7)

tattoo (12)


Lego Tattoos

Filed under: Advert,Fun Stuff,Newsworthy — aproposofnothing @ 9:03 pm

From an ad campaign for Pilot Pens.

View Lego Tattoos

More Tattoo posts

August 10, 2010

Singstar Ad

Filed under: Entertainment,Fun Stuff,Humour — aproposofnothing @ 9:07 am
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