Apropos of Nothing

March 30, 2008

For My Southern Friends

Filed under: Humour — aproposofnothing @ 8:47 pm

At a southern university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes. “Just to establish some parameters,” said the professor to the student from Arkansas, “what is the opposite of joy?”

“Sadness,” said the student.

“And the opposite of depression?” he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.

“Elation,” she said.

“And you sir,” he said to the young man from Texas, “what about the opposite of woe?”

The Texan replied, “Sir, I believe that would be ‘giddy up’ .”

March 29, 2008

Dr Pepper ♥ Guns N’ Roses

Filed under: Music,Newsworthy — aproposofnothing @ 11:22 pm

As a big GnR fan, I find this news hopeful.  If it’s even close to some of the original stuff, it should be good.

Many have tried, but so far nobody has been able to pry the decade-in-the-works Guns N’ Roses album “Chinese Democracy” from the hands of lone remaining original member Axl Rose.

Now, Dr Pepper thinks it’s up to the challenge. The soft drink company says it will give a free can of Dr Pepper to “everyone in America” (excluding ex-GNR members Slash and Buckethead) if “Chinese Democracy” arrives anytime during the calendar year 2008.

Read the rest here.

Some YouTube goodness.

 

 

How to Melt a Tank in Three Seconds Or Less

Filed under: Science — aproposofnothing @ 9:46 pm

From PopSci.

Creating a laser that can melt a soda can in a lab is a finicky enough task. Later this year, scientists will put a 40,000-pound chemical laser in the belly of a gunship flying at 300 mph and take aim at targets as far away as five miles. And we’re not talking aluminum cans. Boeing’s new Advanced Tactical Laser will cook trucks, tanks, radio stations—the kinds of things hit with missiles and rockets today. Whereas conventional projectiles can lose sight of their target and be shot down or deflected, the ATL moves at the speed of light and can strike several targets in rapid succession.

Read the rest here.


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Cadbury Ad

Filed under: Advert,Fun Stuff — aproposofnothing @ 9:35 pm

Cadbury is getting quite clever with their adverts lately.  This one is not bad, but I like the song better than the ad.

 

 

The political season

Filed under: Fun Stuff,Politics — aproposofnothing @ 12:53 am

I try to stay away from politics here, but there is just too much good stuff out there.

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Women, Want a Healthy Marriage? Marry Man Uglier Than You, Study Says

Filed under: Newsworthy — aproposofnothing @ 12:42 am

I just read this story in the news and it totally messed up my view of life. I always thought that this

was how life should be.

Goes to show how much my opinion really matters.

Coffee

Filed under: Blogroll — aproposofnothing @ 12:18 am

Nigel over at This Goes To 11 has a great post on coffee, but I must disagree with him. i find Dunkin’ Donuts coffee a bit weak. I prefer 7-11 coffee, it is always fresh, no matter when you get it. read the post here.

But i must say I do agree with his musical tastes.

 

 

Life’s Logic

Filed under: Christmas,Fun Stuff,Humour — aproposofnothing @ 12:06 am

1. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead’s.

2. The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.

3. I live in my own little world, but it’s OK, everyone knows me here.

4. I saw a rather large woman wearing a sweatshirt with Guess on it. I said, “Thyroid problem?”

5. I don’t do drugs ’cause I find I get the same effect just by standing up really fast.

6. A sign In a Chinese pet store: “Buy one dog, get one flea.”

7. Money can’t buy happiness but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

8. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.

9. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

10. I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected. (more…)

Deep thoughts

Filed under: Fun Stuff,Humour — aproposofnothing @ 12:03 am

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.

2. A day without sunshine is like……night.

3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

4. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

5. He who laughs last thinks slowest.

6. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

7. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.

8. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

9. How many of you believe in psycho kinesis?…Raise my hand.

10. OK…so what’s the speed of dark?

11. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

12. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don’t have film.

13. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

14. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

15. I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

16. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

17. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.

18. Just remember—if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.

19. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

20. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a really hot curry. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow .

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March 28, 2008

Top Gear: Bugatti Veyron vs Eurofighter Typhoon

Filed under: Entertainment,Sports — aproposofnothing @ 10:33 pm

I’ve posted about Top Gear before, Brilliant Show.  In this episode, a sports car races a jet fighter.

 

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A Few Philosophical Questions

Filed under: Fun Stuff,Humour,Philosophy — aproposofnothing @ 9:47 pm

#4 Updated 11/25/2008 for our handicapped readers missing their funny bone.

  1. Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things.
  2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor…..
  3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
  4. <snark>If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?</snark>
  5. The main reason santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
  6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “where’s the self-help section?” she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
  7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?
  8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
  9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
  10. Is there another word for synonym? (more…)

SCHOOL — 1957 vs. 2007

Filed under: Fun Stuff,Newsworthy — aproposofnothing @ 7:27 pm

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 – School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
1957 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 – Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it. (more…)

TorsoPants

Filed under: Fun Stuff — aproposofnothing @ 7:16 pm

An interesting new online Tshirt store, they’ve got some pretty neat shirts and the site is pretty cool.

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March 27, 2008

Easter at the White House

Filed under: Humour — aproposofnothing @ 9:33 pm

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What is Politics?

Filed under: Humour,Politics — aproposofnothing @ 9:01 am

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, ‘What is Politics?’Dad says, ‘Well son, let me try to explain it this way:

I am the head of the family, so call me The President.

Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we ca ll her the Government.

We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.

The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.

And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.

Now think about that and see if it makes sense.’

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.

He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

So the little boy goes to his parent’s room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room.
Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning, the little boy say’s to his father, ‘Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.’

The father says, ‘Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.’

The little boy replies, ‘The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is deep in crap.

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